Allow me to introduce myself. . .

My Mommy is not a very tech savy gal. Techno she gets, tech, not so much. I am surprised how much knowledge I have been able to acquire while eating manuals while she is at school. I meant reading, with lots of drool.

Anyway, my name is Sgt. Abigail Houdini Hubenthal and I can't blog under my own name because I don't know how to invite myself into this group. Unfortunately, I feel that way a lot at family gatherings. Always looking in from the outside, feeling cold, sometimes wet, and unable to express my emotions other than to cry, pitifully. I sometimes wonder if I am considered a part of the Olds family, or apart from it. I never used to feel this way, and then THEY started to be born. Who do you ask? THEM. The ones who poke eyes and pull tails and jump on backs for a "ride". More like a squish. Oh, they are cute enough, but they drool more than I do and don't know how to use the lawn (or hallway rugs) to take care of bodily functions. Yuck. Laying around in your own is so gross! Not at all as exhilerating as finding someone elses to roll in-preferably cow or horse, even a good old earth worm puts a twinkle in these sad eyes.

Speaking of which, they say that we look like our people. Uncle Tim certainly resembles my Mommy, if she needs a haircut, and Danny looks so much like his mother! Assuming this is so, then my Mommy either has a really saggy stomach and wrinkled jowls, or sad eyes. Maybe its because she is feeling paranoid about her job. Yesterday, a fifth grader told her that he had heard the principal saying they had found someone better than her and wanted to fire her. No joke! That is what he said! Then the JSSC (Jerks Spreading Silliness Committee) asked if they could have Art instead of Music. How is that supposed to make my Mommy feel? "Fatter" is what she told me as she ate her second Chocodile of the day. On top of all of that, I ate some grass and threw up. Yes, we were that upset!

Oh, did I not tell you I am a dog? Basset Hound, really. We don't count as dogs. We are not cats, or non-dogs (little yappy "dogs" that count for nothing put headaches and trouble), but a special bread of empathetic creatures meant to syphon away sadness and take it into ourselves, providing comfort and relief for the agreived, assuming the pathetic and tragic facial expressions so that your face won't freeze that way. Like I do for my Mommy, but I digress.

Some family members make sad eyes and don't think they are as involved as others. Not enough variety to the cruise blog, no follow through on cruise assignments-like information of events and tours or where we (that's a royal "we" since I am not invited) are staying in Miami before and after we board. I prefer to think that we are all just busy and finding an appropriate and entertaining thing to type takes more mental powers than some people posess. Anyone can cut and copy a clever or cute quote, but not everyone can explore the fashion sense of cruise guests.

And finding pictures! Especially when everything is in black and white, can be quite a nightmare! Makes me need to scratch my ear and bounce my left leg. Ooh, that is much better! I don't know if I found them all correctly, but they look close enough to me. I had better go get a drink of water now, I don't want the hard water line to be deposited at the same level in the toilet bowl after all. That is my job in my family. Everyone needs to feel important.

P.S. I think that Rusty drools like me, Cate is of course darling-like I am, although I refuse to wear a flower or bow on my head. Billy is a tease-don't ge me started! Danny is intelligent and into things, as am I. And Ricky? Well, he obviously got me tongue!

My Turn

Finally! I have been waiting for months for my mother to get me logged on so I can post about this cruise. I have a lot to say.

Let's talk about my mother first. I love her dearly but she is crazy. All that talk about Islamic swimsuits and hating the beach. Whatever. Stop whining, buy some sunscreen and a hat and call Jenny Craig! And throw away that bag of Dove chocolates we all know you're hiding in the cupboard.

I don't know what she is so worried about. I'll be fine on the cruise. I'm getting her ready for it right now. All she has to do is hold me non-stop. I'll be perfectly happy. It's so easy. I don't know what her problem is. Just drop off Danny with the other kids for play time. Then walk around and hold me. Simple. She can stop worrying about lugging around that bulky double stroller. She won't even need it.

I've already found the swimsuit I want. It's the pink one. (It's hard to tell because there's no model wearing them but they are baby bikinis!) It will match the polish on my toenails and the faux diamond studs in my ears. I'm hoping Aunt Cindy can find a huge flower for my hair that matches the one on the swimsuit. Then I'd be all set.

I may not be old enough to get in the pool, but there's no age limit to relaxing on the beach and eating sand with my favorite punching bag, Rusty!

I can hardly wait...for the sand eating. Not punching Rusty. He just might be bigger than me by then!

Thanks for visting!

Hey everyone!

Thanks for coming to see me get blessed today and coming over to my house and playing with me!

Yo, I'm out!

Rusty

Spring Fever

You know how you have one of those weeks? Just one of THOSE @#$%^%$#@! weeks? Well, I am in the middle of one.


I am tired of everything. I cannot stand know-it-all janitors, third graders and their teachers, or sixth graders with their attitudes. My assistant principal is pushing me to the brink of I-am-gonna-scream-if-she-observes-me-one-more-time and my feet hurt.


Besides that, I haven't played with my nieces and nephews in weeks, I can't keep track of what day it is and I keep burping up my lunch. It wasn't that good in the first place. (Gas station corn dog and tater babies. Fast and close, but not worth repeating.)


If ever I needed a vacation it is this week. The anticipation is almost worse than the wait. "It's almost Spring Break" I keep telling myself, "just a couple more weeks and you don't have to see any horrible children for 4 whole days." Of course, that does not count as a break, recess or vacation. ONLY four days, it's really only 2 days because the school isn't open on the weekends anyway.


So, I take a deep breath and remember that, "School is almost out, school is almost out" and then I find out that the School Board took away a week of my already pathetically short summer break so that the District Employees can have a longer Winter Recess. Que? Are you kidding me? 15 employees are more important than 5000 kids and 200 teachers? Oh, you know what text abbreviations I was thinking! I think mi cabeza just exploded with the injustice! (I am practicing Spanglish for Cozumel.)


So, now I am breathing heaviliy and thinking about the next thing I have to look forward to-The Cruise.


Aah, the cruise. Sunshine, flip flops, eating out every meal. Even the motion sickness, smell of people eating fish and canned soda can't ruin the Nirvana I find in those two words. No one trying to solve my problems, tell me what to do or rather how I could be doing better. And if they do I can tell them to "Shut Up!" without 26 classmates gasping and running to tattle on me for saying "bad words". Oy vay! and shoot me already!

Thank you Tim and Kym, for giving this tired music teacher something to look forward to and a refrain to repeat:

"The Cruise. The Cruise. The Cruise."

Paradise Beach, Cozumel

I thought I would post one the places you will findme when we get off the ship in Cozumel after, of course, my dolphin swim. This place is called "Paradise Beach" and hence the name, it really will be a little bit of Paradise.

It has a restaurant, 2 bars, dining area, boutique, massages on the beach ( booyah!), hair braiding, tattooing, beach toys galore for the kids like me that include kayaking, snorkeling, water trampoline, floats and rafts, showers, bathrooms, changing rooms ( these are a must when I am spending the day at the beach), and taxis right on the premises. Also, you can have any excursions pick you up right there at the beach. Most excursions will also drop you back off at the beach when you are done if you want to go back.

Now you ask what is the cost of such a wonderful place to sun and have fun at, only a mere $10 for an all day pass and it includes the use of all the water toys and kayaks and they even have snorkel gear you can borrow if you want for this price.Now of course if your one of those people who just wants to sit under an umbrella and read a book all day then it is FREE! It only costs money if you want to use the fun toys. Now this is an excursion I can get excited about that is affordable for all and fun for kids of all ages. Also, it is a short 5 minute walk from where the ship will be docked so you won't have to take a taxi to get there, booyah!

So, if your not into the kayak thing like Cindy is, then come join me at beautiful Paradise Beach! For more further reading you can check their website yourself at www.paradise-beach-cozumel.com

Happy Cruising!

Can you canoe a canoe? What about a Kayak?

I’ve only been kayaking twice but I’m addicted. My one and only canoeing experience (excluding the canoes around Tom Sawyer’s Island at Disneyland) included getting stuck in the middle of Bear Lake during a thunderstorm and trying not to panic while waiting for someone at shore to notice us and bring out a power boat to tow us in, but I would love to try it again. River rafting also intrigues me even though, as Tim says, I nearly died when we went down the Green River. (And I didn’t almost die, it was just really cold water and hitting a rock will knock anyone’s breath out of them.)
My two kayak experiences were totally different but both were wonderful. The first happened in Hawaii, 2006. I must admit that I had it pretty easy on this particular adventure. I didn’t even have a paddle! The tour guide took care of all of that and I just had to hang on to Ricky and pray he wouldn’t squirm and tip us over! This was ocean kayaking. There were waves to fight against and the tide which could change which direction you were heading if you weren’t careful. We went to a small island and saw birds and other fun sights in nature. This adventure also included some snorkeling time at the end.

I learned the easy way to kayak.


And the hard way to kayak.


And that it is important to put sun screen on the tops of your feet!


My second experience was on the Pudget Sound, 2008. This time, the water was still, even though it rose and fell with the tides and was technically still the ocean. I still saw birds, but they were eagles not little birds that blended in with the dust. It was almost scary how close we came to these huge birds of prey! Those beaks and claws could really rip a face off!


The kayaks were different and I had to do all the work myself, but it wasn’t hard and we could have stayed out all day, but Billy had been screaming when we left . . .


At each of the port cities on our upcoming cruise, there is a kayak excursion. In Cozumel, the adventure is in a transparent kayak that you take out to a reef and you get some snorkeling time in. I’m not so sure about the transparent boat thing - that seems a bit freaky to me, but those glass bottom boats were once all the rage! This is a 3.5 hour excursion that runs $79 per adult. Minimum age to kayak is 6, to snorkel 8.

In Grand Caymen, the kayak adventure reminds me the most of my Hawaiian one. You paddle around an island looking at wildlife and listening to a tour guide. You get the chance to swim before heading back. This one is about 3 hours and runs $75 per adult. Minimum age 8.

And in Jamaica, you can do some ocean kayaking along the shore to Dunns River Falls where you can then hike the falls. This is 3.5 hours and runs $88 per adult. Minimum age 8. I think this one sounds the most appealing (only because of that transparent boat issue in Mexico).
There are several other water running adventures available, but these are the ones that include Suzy’s infamous kayak. I would encourage everybody to try kayaking at least once. Perhaps our boys will be well enough behaved that someone would be willing to watch them while Kevin and I try one of these adventures (that’s only a subtle hint).

And the winner is...

Tony scored 40%.

Cindy scored 30% on her first attempt and 60% on her second.

Dan scored 50%.

The prize is a batch of your favorite cookies, homemade by me.

I'm feeling generous. Tony and Cindy, let me know what your favorites are and I’ll bring them up next time we come to visit.

Here are the correct answers:

bask of crocodiles
business of mongooses
pandemonium of parrots
herd of manatees
cloud of bats
knot of frogs
asylum of cuckoos
flock of pelicans
charm of hummingbirds
brood of snakes

Thanks for playing!